Swordfish

I had the very great misfortune to be watching Swordfish the other night. If you've seen it, you'll offer the hearftfelt commiserations of a fellow sufferer. It is truly dreadful in that way only a film with John Travolta and Vinnie Jones can be.

What really elevated the film into the realm of the truly authentically awful was the dialogue. Welcome to Exposition hell, part 1.....

This Halle Berry, on first meeting Hugh Jackman's 'character':

"You know, for a man that, four years ago, was the CIA's most wanted hacker, you sure have a bad golf-stroke!"

What? Hello? Welcome to the world of the non-sequiter.

Even more enjoyable was Jackman emotional exchange with his ex-wife about his daughter, where Hugh feels the need to apprise his wife of a datum she may not have been au fait with.

HER: " Harry's looking after her now"

HE: : "But Harry's the porn-king of California!"

Wonderful. I tell you this, but naturally David Mamet tells it better...